Being Human!!!!

 Being Human : Judging & getting Judged

In every aspect of life we interact with human beings for personal & professional reasons.

Knowingly or unknowingly, we have this in our DNA that we remain careful enough to only let our good side out & make sure that a positive impression is made, during every such interaction.

But again these positive impressions may only last as long, no personal or professional interaction can ever remain on the surface, unless they are entirely superficial.

The more we interact, the more we keep opening ourselves & also start experiencing their perceptions that were initially not being let out.

Like religious & political views, their understanding about socio-economic scenarios & so on.

While we learn a lot about them, it may equally make them know about us, unless either of us remain insincere towards each other.

It is here, slowly & steadily the judging starts taking place, individuals after having known each other eventually starts identifying each other with the perceptions that they are unable to align with, individuals dislikes or hates someone for how & what they think & do differently from them, even after all that they may have done right & good may be in multiple folds, & that is Being Human.

No one can stop judging neither can they remain unjudged.

Fortunately enough both stages can be handled professionally & maturely:

A) It is normal that we must know about the people & the people too must know about us, rather it is absolutely necessary & inevitable.

B) The sooner that time comes when we start judging & get judged is better, as playing superficial in personal or professional interaction may at times ruin the prospects, it would not allow either of them to have a trust building foundation.

C) Flaws, shortcomings, inabilities or any other name we may want to give are some of the things everyone is going to have them, in one way or another, today or tomorrow, but as an evolving human being, individuals will always with experience try to overcome these issues.

D) Interactions at personal or professional levels if are practiced to look onto the brighter side, good side, better side it can help to achieve results of such interactions that may be fruitful for both, while the flaws & shortcoming can be left for the individuals to handle them by themselves, then such interactions may keep going well.

E) Aagin, there are two kinds of boundaries that may have to be considered, what will we share with them & allow them to share with us, & second is what we may & may not be able to do for them & what we are expecting them not to do with us.

F) Practically all the good things about them & us are being shared earlier enough & when the interactions keep increasing & growing, the last memories will always overlay the previous ones & unfortunately the last ones are more likely to remain the real one, that are more likely to have conflicting perceptions.

G) Eventually we work with what we have experienced last & that is how we judge them & guide our actions & reactions towards them, likewise it will be the same with them as well. So while we are busy judging & concluding, everyone with whom we interact, they will also be judging us & concluding things about us.

H) Remedy to this dilemma is something that everyone will continue to explore & learn, hence we always appreciate the word, professional, that is being a type of human, who will do what they need to do irrespective of their given internal & external circumstances, while take care not do deliberately distort any status quo.

Some basic Do's & Don'ts on how to strike a balance, while judging & getting judged:

1) Don't stress if you realize that either of what you are doing or saying is going to get judged, you will be judged for not doing so as well.

2) Do remain prompt, clear & straight forward in your responses or replys, in both personal as well as professional interactions, savage replies may look smart but they will instigate more inquisitiveness leading to getting into interactions for more than what was necessary at that point in time & for the given subject matter.

3) Don't try to get vulnerable with every question being asked, if the question is, did it rain last night? the answer must be yes or no, & if it should be no & then we give reasons & explanations to add why our answer is justified.

4) Do pay attention to whatever is being said & shared, before jumping into judging gear, try to practice compassion, try to imagine & recreate the scenario that the person is explaining, try to relive it by yourself, these when done overtime will restrict oneself from being judgemental & can help being considerate & accommodating.

5) Don't also play dumb or not interested when an interaction has already been initiated, that is even if you have already judged where the interaction is heading to, so that you will not push them to judge you.

6) Do make it clear in the beginning of any interaction of what you will entertain & what you wont tolerate, like some do not like discussing politics, or religion, stop it the moment it is started or leave the discussion.

7) Don't share personal details, family background, information about siblings, financial status, income or debts, assets & so on unless they become mandatory or a compliance subject, when starting any joint business or venture.

8) Do make course corrections during any interaction, with intention to remain objectively on the subject matter, this will not only help you to save your time & energies, you may also help them to remain attentive, focused & interested.

9) Don't overemphasize your own weaknesses, flaws, shortcomings, if at any given point in time during an personal or professional interaction, if these issues are inevitably surfacing, then let it, and don't condemn or reject either of them.

10) Do keep appreciating, those with whom you are interacting, personally as well as professionally, it will help to become their & yours last memory & the chances of working with those last impressions may get better results without necessarily being subjected to judging & getting judged.