Cherished Vs. Hated

 Cherished Vs. Hated

A very intrusive subject that once in a while everyone must have experienced it within their personal as well as professional circles. A lot must have been said & written on how to think and act so as to get celebrated, but in the times of universal deficit of truthfulness to self & others, it is equally important how to think & act so that one may not get hated for trying to lead a life based on values & virtues.

Nevertheless, not everyone is always cherished or even hated all the time. But mostly it goes by the act they are putting up in front of the kind of audience they are entertaining.

So it means that one has to master the art of communicating their thoughts, ideas & opinions based on where & whom they are sharing them with. And in order to make either of these to sell well, one has to learn how to read their audience, understand their needs, evaluate their expectations & give an extraordinary performance to entertain them, without getting emotional, judgmental or biased with your own disposition about the given situation. 

So ironically your own independent understanding, evaluation & position about any given situation doesn't matter, until & unless you are the only actor & also audience to yourself.

And we wonder how & why is it so?

That is because everyone at any given point in time is yet in process to admit & accept the very fundamental aspect of Human nature, & the fact that though not everyone knows it all, but yet they are eligible & allowed to think, feel & express as if they know it all, leaving them with the options to learn with experience that they may eventually have with their choices & decisions.

Have this clear understanding that as much as we think & feel that we must always be cherished, irrespectively, we also need to accept that everyone has this fundamental right to think & feel so about themselves.

So what next?

As much as possible, do not try to become a professional actor that remains busy putting up an act to draw cherished moments for self, but at the same point in time one can continuously strive to make sure that sharing your ideas, thoughts & propositions do not get you hated by any means.

All these do's & don'ts are derived from many quarters of life, personal experiences, positive & negative both, intellectual conversations with friends from different walks of life, understanding derived from compassion & empathy.

1) Be very mindful with your vibes, and body language, no matter how mesmerizing your words or speech may be, but the intent will be revealed later or sooner & that may leave a lasting impression about an individual & thereafter every conversation will pass through that very initial or first impression barometer. 

2) Never deceive yourself with the fact that once an artist has learned the art of "speaking that what their target audience is desperately waiting to hear", it works every time, so either you are one of them or you might be around one alike, you may experience that whatever they may say will be believed, and at times even above the facts that readily available.

3) Likewise, no matter how sincere & truthful your proposition may be, if the same isn't what someone is ready to hear, then not only it will be ridiculed, but one may also keep getting discriminated against even with most authentic & factual aspects for every other given subject matter.

4) Accessibility with the abundance of information available makes it even more difficult to convince anyone otherwise, leaving them to exercise their "Free will" remains an all time peace maker, for them as well as for us.

5) You may also come across instances whereby there is more than enough evidence about someone who keeps creating conflicting situations as their words and actions consistently fail to reconcile, do not stress yourself, let them be themselves.

6) Always remember that everyone you are interacting with is having a long cultural conditioning, different upbringing, personal constraints, individual challenges and life complications that keeps playing an very important role in forming their own perceptions and combined with all of it will form the bases of their action, reactions or even inactions. So no matter what you may see, know or understand about their perceptions with any given situation, they are going to remain invincible to accept anything beyond their own purpose & expectations.

7) Involve yourself in any situation only when it is inevitable, try to remain focused on what is within your own circle of influence and make efforts to do the needful without getting attached to the end results. Do not strive constantly to put up an act to get cherished, it may appear to be cheap for all those who can identify the camouflage you are trying to create.

8) For those who all are sincere & truthful to themselves will always find it difficult to throw fake appreciations, so when you are making efforts to give your kind consideration to all those whom you want to give genuine applauds might bring in that very devastating expectation to be valued, which for the actors who have mastered the art of speaking only that what their audience want to hear will never do so & in fact will even make you feel unworthy about yourself as you try to make them important & valued.

9) Do not take criticism, allegations or accusations from anyone to your heart, especially from those who have not shown any moral binding with their own actions, rather it is those who are morally weak in their own endeavors will throw all sorts of dirt on someone else to make themselves appear victimized, those who are sincerely wishing well & good for you will talk about your behavior's to you & not anyone else, so here if you find anyone talking about you to everyone else, except you than rest assure that they are doing so to cover up their own immoral practices. You are bound to be hated for unmasking anyone, take it at its face value.

10) Again everyone including ourselves is putting up an mask and we remain very comfortable behind this mask, so as much as we may get uncomfortable if someone will unmask us, everyone else will have the same reaction towards this very fact of being unmasked & eventually once you have unmasked someone, that person will never appreciate anything about you for their rest of the life, be it a life partner or a colleague, you will be hated passionately by them. You and do or die trying to win them over & yet you will be hated. So never unmask anyone, even if you have realized everything about them, let them continue to live their life under that very mask and act as if you haven't seen that face behind their mask, continue to interact with them as if you don't know anything.

11) Present day society & its ways of leading the life have made many to believe that to live a life that is not bound to any profound purpose or objective is considered as ideal, more than often you will come across people who will claim that they do not take life too seriously, so they will rather continue to live their life for fun & pleasure in today, all of their thoughts and actions will remain focused on making most out of that very moment, they do not stress themselves to evaluate what they might end up having or facing it tomorrow for their actions that are consistently derived to make an cherished moment for today. You are likely to get hurt & hated over and over again by interacting with such individuals who are immune to evaluating their own actions.

12) You may work hard doing things that you are not expected to do for anyone, but you chose to do it anyway just to make sure that people around you can be happy and comfortable, and while doing so you may have been left exhausted & uncomfortable. Such selfless acts ideally should have been appreciated but might not even get recognized. Accept the fact that not everyone will have a sense of gratitude, when they get something from what you have worked hard for, they will claim that did anyone begged you to do anything at all? & hence they act as if it was their right and you did it just because you do not have any choice than to appease them. Don't mind them, ungratefulness is a deficit running in their DNA. In fact there is a probability that when they see what you did & that they couldn't've dared it, they will bash your efforts in every possible manner. Yes, at times you can be hated for being proactive, selfless, sincere & committed, you did not do anything wrong, but yes it is possible that you did it all for the wrong people.

13) Believe it or not, we are living in a world where the upbringing of kids are done in such an environment that they grow up watching everyone using another for their own benefits, so when these people engage as an adult with family, friends or colleagues, they have already normalized the idea of using people to such an level that while they deploy all of their skills to selfishly continue using people around them for their own benefits, along the line they do not even mind if they too are being selfishly used by someone else like them. The thought itself is so unempathetic but unfortunately it is a bitter reality in todays time, so do not get hard on yourself if you are not one of them who has been into using people with selfish motives, while yet at times you still experience being used, learn from it and move on, do not try to get even to such acts of selfishness. 

Have a very clear understanding about your own worth & value, while do not expect it to be recognized or cherished by those who all are not at the same level of your thinking and upbringing, people are more likely to hate what they cannot afford, in terms of value as well as attributes.

Everyone may still like to be cherished but when you are straight forward, sincere & truthful to yourself and others as well, it becomes more important to remain focused on not being hated.

You are hereby cherished for taking time to read & understand how things get folded & unfolded as you make efforts to make your life more meaningful & happy!