You can certainly avoid losses!

 You can certainly avoid losses!

We have been trained to think and act in a way so that we may win all the time, but contrary to it, when we consistently strive to win, we may leave others defeated and later make them realize as losers and that might not be a very healthy way of leading any profession or business.

With practice and persistence we can train ourselves to think and act in a way that we do not lose & at the same point in time we do not let others lose as well. Thereby eventually we both have won.

This absolutely does not means to become a people pleaser, no you are still going to think & act in a way so that even if a win in the given situation is not guaranteed you will give in your best shot to make sure that you do not lose.

Probable ways to practice & perfect thinking Win - Win:

A) To look for our own benefits & advantages in any given situation is already in our DNA, so all that we have to continue doing is to accept it without any hesitation.

B) Immediately after having analyzed our benefits & advantages in the given situation, shift the focus on probable immediate or future losses, hereby one will be able to withdraw themselves from the greed or overwhelming joy of the initial benefits & advantages that were analyzed.

C) As soon as you are on this very gear of analyzing loss probabilities for yourself, use the same spirit to now analyze probabilities of their loss in the same situation or the deal, as it might give a way for fair understanding for both the sides.

D) It is very much possible that you might be able to arrive at an understanding that he isn't making any loss in the deal but instead is even making good profit, do not get carried away with that very realization & go back to your own advantage point.

Let us discuss one example here, if you are buying one dozen apples, the dealer first priced it at 1200, then you bargained it at 1000 & they agreed, now when you already gave a figure & that was already in line with your understanding of your last purchase or a shop that you already had tried earlier with that 1000 & they did not agreed, do not think that with 1000 they agreed now, they are going to make more margins just because they agreed for it, the fact may be that as much as you wanted your price to fly they too must have analyzed their profitability & hence must have agreed, let the deal fly with that 1000 here.

E) Now here even if you are not sure if the price of those 12 apples must be 1000 or less, leave the place & check elsewhere, & try with 800 in your mind if you think is the right price for the same batch & quality of the apples, if the bargain started with 1200 & stopped at 1000, immediately go back to the first person & strike that win win deal. Thereby you will get your deal at your price, & you may win the seller & they might give you the right price next time as well.

F) It is very much possible that there is only one shop that is having apples & you need them badly, buy at least 4 or 6 @ of that 1000 for 12 if you both agree again & check for the rest some other time, but do not leave without buying as they already agreed to your price, you do not have to lose them just because you are not sure if that 1000 is right price or higher. Next time you may not be offered a good deal.

Now let us review some practical life scenarios of interpersonal interactions that is not a sales or buying deal: And always keep in mind that the potential you see in others isn't real, it is your own projection of what you would have done in that given situation that you are expecting from them!!

Every interpersonal interaction will have either of these 4 end results, so the one you want the most, clearly set it as a goal for yourself:

1) You will win the situation or the argument & eventually the other person will lose, that might weaken your ties with the person or you might lose the person as well.

2) The person will win the situation or the argument & you will lose, & you too might get hurt or will have to take a step back, you too are free to let the person go as they choose to win that argument at the cost of your well being.

3) You both arrive at an understanding and accept to take as much of losses, thereby you kept the interaction candid & allowed the person to keep their peace.

4) You both can gain from taking a 40-60 or 60-40 approach, either you let go of a little more than you are deserving & let the person have a little more, thereby you keep the win share up to 40 & let the person keep the rest of 60.

You let go a bit this time & win the person to let them give consideration next time to let you have that 60.

How to think & act during interpersonal interactions:

A) Mostly in any interpersonal interaction, there is going to be some emotional trade off involved, we are likely to act & react out of emotions, it is natural & obvious that we do something out of expectations, accept that is it good to have very high expectations for ourselves & from anyone & everyone that we are interacting with.

B) As much as we are engaging with others in fulfillment of our own expectations, they too are interested in us only out of their own expectations, that too is natural & obvious. accept it & flow with it naturally.

C) The key here is to learn how to identify what they are in position of giving away, or are ready to offer happily, that is once again a demanding state of being, one has to keep aside all of their own expectations from the other & try to remain neutral & instead concentrate on what is being offered willingly.

D) In every such interaction, always have a very high level of patience & give benefit of doubts, let it be & let it go must be the approach in order not to lose self control, over react in emotional outburst & lose the person with harsh words or actions that were never intended.

E) Listen first, hear it all, that alone will win the person by large & when you are initiating a resolution it will be heard & respected, besides as you are hearing them out you will already learn a lot about their interest in the subject matter, again what they are going to offer or let go, & what they are not willing to let go, will become crystal clear.

F) Never emphasis on closure of the interaction, discussion or the argument that you are having with the person, once you have learned their motives, interest & objective, if you are ready to let it be, let it go & manage then only continue with any further interaction, or else walk away or walk out without burning the bridge.

G) If you do not want to go with what they have to offer willingly & they are not ready to accept & take what you have to offer willingly, do not make it obvious, maybe the given situation did not work out & there is always a next time. Never take things to your heart & do not lose the person or let the person lose you as well.

Think & act to win it for all & you may never lose it for yourself!