Why Do People Change?

 Why Do People Change?

More than often we ask these questions, especially when we experience a changed behavior from someone, so then what is happening to them, that they had to change, what was bothering them or triggered them to act in a certain way that we never expected, a ton of questions arises.

Let us try to understand what is going on here.

We meet certain individuals for the very first time, that is either for professional objectives or personal goals.

So in summary there is a need for an interaction to exchange skills, knowledge or companionship in case of personal relationships.

When first few meetings & interactions are taking place, both the parties will PRETEND as much as possible and give an impression of being the best version of themselves, in fact some of them may actually be that kind of nice person when they are at their best.

Here we give & take impressions about each other that were well crafted, calculated & created to win the trust & confidence.

Moreso since the interactions were brief & to the point & objectively driven with an end result of making a kill, which with the given modern day lifestyle of following personality ethics is attainable in most of the cases.

So within a couple of months or meetings we create an image of the person that is purely based on how the few initial interactions took place, mostly nice, just, carrying, empathetic, intelligent, & so on.

The more old schooler you are the more stronger will be your image about them, this means those who are sincere, straight forward, dedicated & believer of ethics & morals will either portray others like themselves or may even place them higher, while such deliberate efforts were made during those interactions to achieve as much status.

Now here comes the twist, as the time passes, interactions becomes necessity & can no longer be guided under the initial strategy of creating a rosy & good impression, you will start observing the following:

A) You are no longer a priority to them like before.

B) You are yet another option that they want to continue to keep benefiting from.

C) The care that they showed earlier about your routine is no longer shown.

D) The consent that was earlier sought from you is no longer coming forth.

E) The value you had for them is no longer seen in their actions.

F) They are more confident with their actions despite the fact that it is actually going against their own first impression they created for you.

G) The time & consideration given to your skills, knowledge & intentions is bare minimum.

H) They communicate only to inform you of something, totally unavailable to hear from you about anything & everything.

I) The concerns of personal well being that was their top most priority won't see the light of the day ever again.

J) They delay everything & anything, the decisions that could have been taken in seconds may take days if not months.

K) They do not show any interest in your view, perceptions & thoughts, even if they are about their own well being.

And so on.

So what happened? Why did they have to change so drastically for you?

Well the matter of the fact that they did not change, but yes they appear to be different to you alone, especially from that very image of theirs that you may have created based on their intentional & well crafted initial interactions.

Once the confidence was gained, trust earned, they no longer felt it necessary to remain invested in those well crafted & superficial efforts to make you feel better or important.

They know you are not going to work on yourself to recreate their image from the latest revelations of their behaviors & intentions.

YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!!!!!

With this confidence, & knowing that as easily as they were able to earn your trust & confidence, that makes them the master of disguise, since they have done it once they can do it again with whomsoever comes next, so if you leave it doesn't make any difference, you never mattered in the first place.

So with this principle, they are now simply being themselves, it is only that now you get to see them in their true nature, of course shattering your impression that they choose to create it for you, but either way it was always good for them, as that is how they have wanted.

So, fellow brothers & sisters, 99% of people do not change for anyone, yes people do change but for themselves, they change their moods, their choices, their habits & when we summaries all of that we realize that they changed for us, no, they never changed for us it is only that we either got to now understand how they think, how they reason, how they act & what are their priorities & where do we stand in those priorities & that actually is now pushing us hard & over & over again to change our first impression that we have created about them.

They NEVER changed, they were always like that & instead we were the one that saw them the way they wanted us to see, as that gave us a good dopamine effect, while we were taken care, prioritized & given importance.

So hereon do not over emphasis on creating an image of someone when you meet them, let them believe that they are able to create that idealistic first impression, but do not cast any image yet, wait for 6 months or at times even more to really understand & see them who & how they are.

This does not mean that they are bad or not righteous, but may be this is their style to begin with every new relationship, professional as well as personal, they win trust & confidence immediately, make others important so that they can open up & drop their mask first, & when that is achieved & when they realize that you are not going anywhere, you are a NOBODY sitting on their waiting outside their so called busy schedule & different priorities.