Narcissist, A grown up child!

 Narcissist, A grown up child!

In professional as well as personal interactions it is important to have identified some of the narcissistic individuals around & have clear understanding of their lack of maturity to display a behavior rooted in empathy & compassion.

So no matter how heartfelt & emotional side of yours that you may have expressed to them, it wont make any difference to them.

The reason is that they can only see, understand & reason from their needs, & that goes to say that needs of everyone else around are insignificant to them.

Hence it becomes important to analyze & understand how a Narcissistic person, think, reason & act.

A)  A two your old toddler only understand their needs to eat, sleep & play. If they want a toy they want it irrespectively, if they want to watch cartoons on tv, that's what they will stick to, if not they will continue to cry & make all possible nuisance around them. A narcissistic person is just that grown up toddler, who has not actually grown up enough to see anything around them beyond their needs & expectations.

B) We cannot actually blame them entirely for being so, as they must have grown up being ignored, left behind & even used or ridiculed so badly that all they may have learned along their these experiences is to fight for what they want, they can do & undo to get what they think they need, leaving them to remain so self centered that when it comes to their demands the entire world around them cease to exist.

C) They do not abide by any moral bindings, everyone around them is a means to get them what they could out of them anyhow. But if anyone else does not abide by the morals laid down by the society, then they are a bad person for them & they will go to any extent to blow it out of proportion. 

D) The above trait makes them believe in their decisions & reasoning so profoundly that lying, manipulating, playing with words are their first response in every communication they initiate. They will lie to anyone including themselves to remain happy & safe in that moment.

E) 99% of them again are people pleasers, they can die a million times over to maintain a good & clean public image about themselves, likewise they can throw anyone & everyone under the bus to get what they want.

F) Affection, emotions, empathy & compassion are allergic to them, they get insecure, irritated when they are treated with care & love, they hate being nurtured. They bash it if they are being corrected. Yet they make sure that if someone is willing to give them either of it, that is affection, emotional care, nurturing, love, empathy & are compassionate towards them, then they will do all that is needed to make sure that these supplies are continued.

G) On the outside they will appear to be very practical, they can let go anything & everything if it is no longer worth their efforts & time.

H) They will enjoy gossip about others but will not engage in any intellectual discussions that may sow any seeds in their thoughts, they can never be amazed by anything, if it is good, they will say yes it is not bad, if it is excellent they will say its manageable.

I) Mostly they are atheistic, they believe that whatever they are doing is right & just for them & there is nobody that can judge them, so even if they are visiting any religious places, it is to hunt down or latch for their supplies, to find admiration, to be liked by strangers around.

J) Surprisingly the law of Karma is not applicable to them, why? because in the first place they believe that they never did anything wrong & hence whatever may be the consequences it the part of their life they are capable to maneuver without any regret, realization, or even course correction.

K) So since they do no believe that some of the setbacks in their life are due to either of their wrong decisions & choice & the fact that they were able to survive, sustain & come out of it all, they will actually get encouraged & motivated to even double their efforts in the same direction, since they were able to make it through once, they can always make it through for any number of times.

L) They are good talkers, when it comes to initiating any new conversation, but at the same point in time they are pathetic listeners, they hardly pay any attention when someone is talking to them especially if it is about their actions, reasoning & pushing them to take accountability of their choices.

M) They are distraction lovers, they like to remain in an entertaining mode all the time, they cannot site down and not do anything, especially like indulging in intellectual discussions, reading, writing, any activity that may demand them to participate actively is not going to keep them motivated, they will get irritated & to avoid lashing out at people around mostly they will switch to the next available option of entertainment.

N) For them every another human being is a toy to play with their time, emotions, patience, and every other resources that they are capable of giving away, in short an assured means of entertainment for them, that they will remain latched to them as long as they keep getting what they want from them.

O) They maintain multiple resources for their supplies, as one resource cannot be enough, they need that their time, emotional care, love & everything else from everyone of their preys, so on that outer side they make themselves available for everyone as & when they can, so here they can set priorities & then they will master the art of multitasking to make sure that all the resources that they have developed are always leaving their channel of supplies flowing towards them.

P) The only thing that they are very emotional about is their pride & ego, they can let go of anything & anyone irrespectively however worthy, important & valuable it may be, but they will never let down or put aside their pride & ego, remember they are uncorrectable & always right, they will rather flee than to admit to their mistakes & try to change their behavior or actions. And unapologetically their actions will never match their words.

Q) They can pull down their allies to make an impression over some stranger, they are so magnetically attracted towards their prospects that they will not see the place & time and will jump into latching over to that possible prospects in every possible manner.

R) As much as quickly they will jump on latching to their prospects, if along the line they find out that it isn't easy, & that they are not going to be able to manipulate, maneuver & remain latched on to their prospects for long, they will leave them without looking back and move on to another one, surprisingly this can be a friend, colleague or even a blood relative, they will not stand where they are not in charge & not in the limelight.

S) They are very specific in picking their subjects from whom they will be getting their supplies of care, love & nurturing. Mostly the empaths & the insecure ones, the empaths will remain their source of supplies who will take care of them, nurture them, love them, & can go extra mile to sacrifice a lot for them, while the insecure ones will be the ones to be lashed upon, or their own punching bags. 

T) Their communication is top notch, you wont get an answer to even a very simplest of a question as a direct answer, but it will always be a crooked question as an answer to every question that will leave the conversation to a level of frustration. For example, if you ask them what time is now? Their answer will be, Wow where did your smart watch go? So now here one may have to answer what they have asked forgetting what they wanted to ask & why? or like them, leave the conversation there.

U) They are lover of all the fine things in the world, a practical brand ambassador of all the luxuries they can get their hands on to, at the same point in time they are very careless about preserving their valuable, they keep breaking, spoiling & can even get lost, they don't care as long as it is getting replaced.

V) They are neat & tidy in their attire, dressing & presentation, but if you are opportune enough to peep into them personally, they are very unorganized to a level that it might be even unhygienic in nature. They do not keep their desk & environment around them neat & clean.

W) They are basically very lazy in nature, they won't act on anything unless it becomes inevitable, but at the same point in time, if they are required to take a lot of stress to get their supplies they will go that extra mile with a big smile on their face.

X) You cannot predict their mood from their face, they can be poker face to you if you haven't been dancing on their tunes & next minute right in front of you they can crack a joke with someone right besides you. It is natural to them, they bring about such attitudes & actions effortlessly.

Y) Nothing is enough, once they get something from A person, they will immediately move towards the B person who either must have been waiting to give or they must have groomed them to offer, then to C & then do D, meanwhile when they are busy with A & if they see that B is more eager & desperate they can leave A to quickly go & grab what B has to offer, basically a collector, & a taker of anything & everything that comes easy. And never satisfied with what they get & how much they get. They believe in the principle of abundance & that there are many more out there dying to give & hence it is their birth right to keep getting more & more.

Z) Ungrateful & thankless will be their attitude for anything & everything, if they are getting what they want from A, B, C & D persons respectively they will thank themselves for being so deserving. 

One cannot just relate with a Narcissistic person with emotions & their heart, no matter however genuine might be your intentions if you fail to weigh it with your mind & fall victim to continue believing their what they are saying & ignoring what they are doing then it is an end game.  

To be very just, not every narcissist is fully developed to carry all these traits, some are partial & some are occasional, but then once a narcissist will always be a narcissistic & it is just a matter of time that they will bloom to their fullest potentials.

And inevitably everyone has to deal with a narcissist if they are part of your team & the only way to deal with them without being hurt, manipulated & used is to think & act with mind without attaching any emotions to it. No matter whatever you may do, they are not going to appreciate you, like you or acknowledge anything good about you, so why make those extra efforts & get drained emotionally.

Just don't play their game, whenever interacting with them take a pause, think well & do only what is needed for the task & job, leave behind any other issues of credit or reputation, it wont work with them & you will remain at total loss.

Besides, remember it well that challenging them in either ways will only result in making you their number one target to bring down, they will use all of their resources, subjects & gang up with them to destroy you in every manner. The treatment they will give to those who know them & have seen their real face will be hell for them the same life, while at the same point in time they can be charming & happy going with those who have not know them as a Narcissist.  

 

All the very best! as if you are destined to meet one then you will learn a lot about yourself.