Being Nice Vs. Being Good.

 Being Nice Vs. Being Good.

Being Nice is when one tries to nod with whatever is being said & done.

Thereby not to offend the offenders, not to shake up their perspectives, not to showcase any alternative probabilities, not to draw their attention towards facts, not to talk them down on any subject matter that they are not willing or ready to be taught or enlightened.

Being Good is when one tries to do the right thing for them without hurting or invading the rights or well being of anyone else. Being good begins with initiation of thoughts followed by actions that carry genuine intentions.

Contrary to being nice that is always going to remain focused on the self image of the imposter, being good can many times appear not to be so nice, especially when one is not ready to read the intentions.

While it becomes an art when one is trying to practice being good in a nicer way.

Relationship advisors & management consultants do confess that mostly none of their clients will ever buy into their advice, instead they are consistently digging deeper to find validation for their own set of perceptions, beliefs & understanding.

And that practically makes it very tedious job to remain good all the times, but yes there are some measures that can be taken to remain relevant in the quest of being good while improvise in getting nicer, again all these may sound as advice but then its better to try and fail, then remain invincible without trying anything different:

1) During any conversation, personal or professional, try to remain focused on the objective of whatever is being said.

2) You might hold a Ph.D. in a subject matter, but you never know if the conversationalists are Nobel Prize winners in that very subject, so remain observant unless & until asked for a different opinion, till then continue to nod your head in affirmation with whatever is being said & agreed upon.

3) Having a different opinion in any subject matter is a sign of intelligence, but as a professional you are expected to execute an all agreed plan without any deliberation on how you see & understand the subject matter. Take accountability of the action plan irrespectively.

4) Do not include your emotions, or "trust me bro" aspect in explaining your view point, in fact do not say anything unless & until you have evidence, facts & enough data to back up whatever your theory might be, especially if you know that it isn't going to sound nicer but has to be shared & explained.

5) Never tell anyone that you already knew the outcome, it will sounds absolutely selfish, you knew it all along but in order to remain nice you choose to allow the person to suffer & that is actual being nice in the beginning & becoming the ugliest person later, so even if you knew that it was going to fail miserably, if you choose to remain nice & not good then when the situation could have been saved, then don't jump into becoming wise later when they are already suffering the consequence.

6) Instead what might be even nicer & good together is join hands with them to bring them out of the consequences, though its immoral & unethical, but then that is how it works now a days, that if someone has choose to jump into the well & while you were already sitting on the edge of the well wall, if you now see that they are drowning &  if they are begging you to help them with a rope, you can do that unapologetically & become their life savior. Now let them contemplate, if you are a messiah, a well wisher, an opportunist or an enemy, as you could perceive either of it based on their level of intelligence, While you are prepared to take it up from there.

7) Listening ear is a key to being nice, while the ability to hold your thoughts from not getting carried away with their experience & perception can make your path easier in becoming nicer, while one may have to leave their tongue under lock & key.

8) The acceptance of as is may also remain a founding strategy in becoming nicer while remaining good, if you have noticed any lady with their inaccurate make up, mind your own business, do you think or believe that she must have not checked herself out in the mirror over 10 times before coming out & how does their inaccurate make up change your fate & destiny, remain nice by not correcting anyone who hasn't begged you to be good.

9) When you have been identified as good with some of your actions, you are likely to fall under the list of the haters to whom you have offended being good & not nice, here is the twist, with every of their actions & initiatives their hatred towards you will be screaming out loudly, so once you have already displaced them by hurting their wasted interest & remained good to the greater good, you have earned them as an enemy for your rest of the life, so don't continue to get offended when their actions one after another will be deliberated to target distort your goodness.

10) Remain nice to your haters & enemies by letting them be, letting them do whatever they want to & continue to safeguard yourself by silent treatment, because once you have earned them as an hater & enemy, no amount of good that you will do can every change their heart, mind & perception about what you made them lose then, in fact it is the very human nature to continue to beat up someone with one offense against them for the rest of their life.

11) Once you are on the list of hatred & being labeled as their enemy, nothing that you may do good will be seen, recognized or appreciated, you are completely on your own. The shimmering campaign they will be running for the rest of their life will continue to recruit new & old haters to make it an movement so strong that no amount of your being good or nice will ever undo the damage, & the only reason why they will continue to flourish with such shimmering campaign is because they will continue to remain nice to everyone else so that their side of story will be believed & bought over. And you will realize how important it is to be nice over good.

12) Being good comes with a price you continue to pay for the rest of your life, while your consequences might not get so painful, but the idea of being disliked & hated for being genuine & sincere will always continue to haunt you over & over again.

13) Being good may also come with a baggage of having the sense of guilt, that is one will evaluate their own actions & judge if they have done a good thing or a bad thing & that level of consciousness will always take them on a guilt trip when they realize that while trying to be nice it made them become not good.

14) Be nice to yourself first, & one of the most profound ways to do that is not to get on to any form of guilt trip while feeling good about yourself & the surrounding.

15) Practice detachment, observe but do not absorb, understand but do not engage, realize but do not react unless it is inevitable, let everything & everyone be on their own, make your existence felt & available only upon request.

16) Run an assessment about the people that you are interacting on daily bases & have a clear understanding about everyone's personalities, what is that motivates them & what is that they will take it personally, form a very clear boundary protecting your sanity around these given experiences while dealing with them in past & remain stick to policy of what can be said & what not, how it has to be said & when.

17) Any advice is an outcome of knowledge & experience that will also be determined by the objective & interest, practice to have clear intentions for common good & your set of experiences in giving advice or sharing your view point may remain more blissful.

18) Attempts made to practice being nice without being good may be later or sooner get discovered & exposed in day light & the only thing then after may prevail is passionate hatred, because someone would have remained genuinely good to you while you were practicing the art of being only nice without even a pinch of good in it.

19) Generalizing the principle, one can likely remain good as long as they are being nice by minding their own business, use any available tool to count the number of words you speak in a day, start reducing the meetings timings by 5 minutes every month & make sure that everyone comes to the meetings well prepared, speak & allow to talk only about the subject matters that are necessary, use written communication as much as possible so that the chances of being direct or personal can be reduced.

20) Above all, take walk breaks, off from desk breaks, off from meeting breaks, off from activity breaks, the more one can take such breaks the probability to arrive back to the state of being rational & reasonable may increase & general responses & approach may remain nicer.

Continue to talk to yourself, how else you can become nice while remaining good with your intent & things may get better in every spectrum.